Instead of Eating Shark, Try Jumping One.

I

cannot wait until the dietary labels paleo and primal have jumped the shark joining the likes of their not-so-distant relatives such as raw (and all it’s dogmatic subsidiaries), vegan, Macrobiotic, Blood Type, etc., and the more mainstream faddier dead diets such as Atkins, Weight Watchers, South Beach, Zone, and least not forget the more current and confusing BeachBody diet(s) that take on their own food conjured form with each MLM’er (multi-level marketer)! And the list goes on and on and on…

Blaaaaaa…I actually despise all diet labels. People wear them like an honorary badge. Trust me, I put myself in a dietary elitist club for years.

But before I segue into the “meat” of this blog (ha), I guess I can’t pretend the idiotic use of “Caveman” doesn’t happen in the diet world. I actually won’t acknowledge this diet label exists. It’s just THAT bad. I don’t know about you, but there’s nothing Neanderthalish I want to do in modern times.

Well, except maybe actually sleep in a cave for a night or two (caves are the “bones” of the earth and is where all the earth’s “information” is stored), but back to ridiculousness (cuz there’s nothing ridiculous about wanting to sleep in a cave at all! Wink. Wink)… I’ll just leave the use of  “Caveman” in relation to modern dieting with one easy word that quickly sums it up: Really?

But back to why paleo needs to go…

One major dietary practice the primal, paleo, and caveman (SIGH) diets teach us that is unique to these labels is grains should be avoided because we only introduced these into our diets as a way to survive. According to the eat-your-meat anti-grain camp, grains were never meant to stay in our diet, and most definitely weren’t supposed be a main part of our daily food intake like they are today. They claim the consumption of grains is wreaking havoc on our bodies from an evolutionary perspective. Quite frankly, I agree. And I am referring to actual published research conducted by scientists and MD’s that I have read and heard lectured by the researchers themselves at a medical conference, not something I was told by your average Joe Blow meat-head Cross-fit trainer who somehow believes he’s qualified to dish out less than optimal dietary advice. However, this blog is not about being “pro” one diet and “anti” another or even about exposing the logical loopholes in all these labels (I’ll save this for another blog), it’s about realizing the dietary insanity we have fallen prey to. And we’re not alone.

…this blog is not about being “pro” one diet and “anti” another or even about exposing the logical loopholes in all these labels (I’ll save this for another blog), it’s about realizing the dietary insanity we have fallen prey to…

Ridiculous diet labels are not just limited to gluttonous, quick fix mongering American’s. Even the Aussie’s have fallen prey. Ever tried the Kangatarian Diet? This would be a vegetarian who also eats; I’ll give you one guess…yup! Marsupials! I guess this is the Crocodile Dundee version of a flexitarian. And those of you who attach your identity to a diet, are probably gasping at the mere fact that paleo and vegan are even sharing a sentence here. But please, take a deep breath. Trust me, I understand. Just like most who “become diets”, I also healed myself eating a “diet label” and became this diet so much so I quit my comfy corporate job to teach everyone else how to become a diet too! I’m so grateful for this dogmatic part of my journey because without it, I would most likely not even have made it to my 40th birthday, or would be (barely) living as a (barely) walking dead person until my body gave out (which it was already doing). Like most of America post 1950, I wasn’t breast fed, grew-up on make-believe food and nonfood “fresh” from a microwave…death by food was inevitable. However, I did find my saving grace in a dogmatic plant-based raw food diet and eventually (thank God) found balance along the way!

And guess what, I still eat mostly raw and plant-based and still teach people how to eat raw food for detoxification purposes, but in a super non-cultish way. I mean, saying, “I eat raw food” is almost as ridiculous as saying I eat a “caveman” diet. And in no way am I saying these are the same diets, I’m just saying they match in diet label outlandishness.I mean come on, living as a diet label that says you “eat raw food” is like announcing to the world: “I breathe.” This just goes to show you how far we moved away from eating real food that eating “raw food” became an actual diet.

Why can’t people just say they don’t eat grains, and do eat lots of coconut oil avocado and Ghee? Really the paleo diet is a raw food diet with the addition of animal fats, or even in most mainstream kitchens is a sort-of cleaned-up version of a SAD diet. And now there’s the resurgence of the Ketogenic diet which is really just a modified Atkins diet, or a paleo diet with a specific fat/protein/carb ratio, or this even mimics the raw food diet taught by Gabriel Cousens, MD in that they both use the low to no carb approach with the only significant difference being the addition of eating animals in the Keto diet. Also, Dr. Cousens takes this a step further by applying a fat/protein/carb ratio to individuals physiologic dietary needs which I feel is a step in the right direction. At least here there is recognition of bioindividuality unlike any other diet out there.

In the end, these here today, gone tomorrow highbrow diet labels just cause separation, confusion and fear tactics that don’t promote health-driven efficacy. Can’t we all just agree to promote health instead of posturing against each other? Last time I checked, we are all on the same team…advocating change and health!

Here’s a quick look into where the paleo label has led us! Below I will take you on a quick pictorial journey through Instagram showing you just how stupid and unhealthy carrying a diet label can be. I searched the paleo hashtag and this is the ridiculousness I found (sadly, this only a few of the thousands of pix  I could have used)!

Yeah cuz cave men wore v-neck shirts and ate ham? More like wild boar, if these little beasts were even around 200,000 years ago, and if they did they for sure actually hunted them. And “caveman ham” (COME ON!)  definitely wasn’t cured with nitrates and way processed salts such as kosher salt.

Paleo? Or just a gourmet meal w/extra meat? I went to culinary school and this is truly just a meaty MODERN gourmet dish. I mean, for sure our Paleolithic ancestors ate ground chicken apple sausage…?

Ribs, scrambled eggs and tomatoes? Did someone just order Denny’s minus the toast? What happened to eating food with nutrients? Isn’t that why we eat? Take those pale-ass Hot House tomatoes, clearly eaten out of season and isn’t a health food, let alone existed back in the Paleolithic era? This makes me wonder if any of the food pictured here is even organic, 100% grass-fed or even made with REAL healthy GMO-free seasonings and sauces. All of these are more important than a diet label!

A plate full of bacon? This didn’t exist 200,000 years ago.  How is this healthy again? And I love all the hashtags here proving it’s all the same diet. I give her props for grass-fed and nitrate-free, but again, let’s revisit health 101 – anything fried is not a good idea. Though our ancestors ate carcinogens, doesn’t mean we should no, just sayin…

Call it like it is! This is taco night for foods sake! Nothing more, nothing less and by the looks of it this is swimming in coleslaw which is always slathered in mayo. I am going to go out on a limb here and guess that cavemen didn’t have mayo or tortillas??

Kings yes, Neanderthals no. Here was have burned to a crisp ribs and what sort of looks like a plate of super over grilled burgers or some kind of really low-grade steak and perhaps a gluten-free cornbread (which gluten-free processed flours are far from HEALTHY) which is all the farthest from health food.

Homemade Outback Steakhouse minus the bloomin onion with a side of veggies. Oh, right, right, right, this is PALEO.

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Written by Andrea McNinch.
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